Bored

They suspended me on full pay pending some sort of investigation.
I had nothing to do except stay at home and watch the telly.
I got so bored, I phoned Roger at the hospital.
"You've got no fucking RIGHT to be bored you fucking bumwhistle," he fumed, "You're getting paid to do fuck all - not that there's much change there - and all you can do is moan about how fucking bored you are."
"But what can I do?" I asked him, "whenever I go outside, people start throwing stones at me."
"Wear a hat for fuck's sake. Listen, I haven't even had a wank for three weeks, my balls have swollen to the size of grapefruit and the highlight of my day is having a shit - so don't talk to me about being bored you jet of freakspunk."
"But there's nothing on the telly!" I implored him.
He didn't understand.

 

 

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