Smell my cheese you mutha | Cheese and Onion

"You can't get cheese and onion flavour crisps anymore," Roger lamented.
Nobody said anything.
"It's all oak-smoked Bavarian cheddar and shallot. Or if you're bored with that you can try fermented yak's milk and chives or dry-roasted bumcheese and red onion," he continued, "it's a fucking disgrace."
I thought I'd better try and calm him down, but I couldn't think of anything to say.
"There's no normal flavours anymore- it's all got to be this pretentious pseudo-sophisticated crap. I mean- they're just fucking crisps for God's sake! They're a snack not a fucking lifestyle choice. Everybody's gone fucking mad," he ranted.
The rest of the people in the pub were staring.
"Just give me the fucking ready salted," he sighed.
"We've only got rock salt and wild coriander," the woman behind the bar said.
"Oh fuck off!" he said.