Personally, I shall dearly miss her yellow teeth

I was very upset when the Queen Mother died.
They opened a book of condolence and I felt I had to go along and give some words of comfort. She was the backbone of our nation, the grandmother of all of us and I wanted to express how sorry I was that she was finally gone.
When I got there I was too choked up to think properly- all I could think of to put was "fuck".
An old lady who was after me in the queue saw what I had written and pointed a trembling finger at me.
"He has written an obscenity!" she shouted.
There was a silence, during which the sobbing abated, and before I could protest my innocence someone shouted: "Get him!"
I was chased out of the building by an angry mob, some of them carrying chairs and other improvised weapons.
I managed to lose them in the crush of tourists, but not before one of them had shouted that I "looked like a German".