Liiiiiiiiiiife of Booboo

In the staffroom afterwards, Julia gave me a long lecture about respect for
women. She widened this to include people with disabilities, ethnic
minorities, ginger people and so on. She explained that she didn't think I was a bad person, merely misguided and ill-informed and that this was my opportunity to embrace a new way of living and show the way for other persons.
I pondered this on the way home.
I stopped off at the corner shop to pick up some provisions and as I stood
by the milk, I felt a tugging on my trouser leg. I looked down to see a dwarf
staring up at me.
"Oi mate," said the dwarf, "I don't s'pose you can do me a favour can you?"
I saw this as my opportunity to live the values that Julia had taught me.
"How can I help?" I asked.
"Can you get some mags down off the top shelf for me?" he asked, "Only I
can't reach."
I was happy to oblige.
He found it very hard to make up his mind which one he wanted, and at his
request, I had to take down each one and hand it to him. He'd take a look,
shake his head and say: "nah, what about that one?"
I was standing there holding copies of Top Tits, Flappage, Spread Wives
and Lubed-Up Lesbians, when Julia walked in.
She looked at me in horror, then at the magazines, then back at me in
horror again. And then she left.
"But they weren't for me, they were for the midget!" I shouted as I ran out
after her.
She got into her car and drove off without giving me another look.
"WHO YOU CALLING MIDGET YOU FUCKING FASCIST?" shouted the
dwarf.
He gave my legs a savage beating.