Smack my Bob up | Exhibition

Roger and I went to a trade exhibition.
It was called Euro Sexpo 2004 and it was set up so that pornographers and sex-toy manufacturers could meet and sell things to each other. Roger was there to drum up business. He gave me a load of leaflets to hand out and wandered off.
There were lots of people there - throngs of scantily-clad women posing for photographs and young couples wearing skin-tight rubber, but most of the people were ugly men.
I was distracted by a very beautiful young woman with a long line of men queuing to have their photographs taken with their face pressed against her enormous breasts. I joined the queue, but when it got to my turn, she sort of made a face and said that she couldn't pose for any more photos and needed to have a word with her manager.
As I walked away, and the woman started shouting at a short man about "screening the fucking fans", my attention was caught by a large group of cheering people in the middle of the auditorium. There was a little stage there, and on it, a naked woman was crawling on her hands and knees having baby oil rubbed all over her by a group of dwarves. Another naked woman was spanking her very hard on the arse and calling her a "drippy bum whore". As the crowd roared their approval, the crawling woman looked in my direction. Her eyes widened and she looked about as shocked as I felt.
"Mother?" I said.
"Bob!" she said, "it's not how it looks!"

The above picture was not taken at Euro Sexpo 2004. If you want to know what they were all gawping at, tune in next week. Or, if you are in the future, just click on "that way" and you will see.