Favour

"Where the fuck have you been?" Roger asked.
I told him I'd been tied to a bed for five days.
"Yeah but you could have answered the fucking phone. Anyway, I need you to do me a favour."
"What?" I asked.
"I need you to have sex with my wife," he said.
"Oh," I said, "are you sure she wouldn't mind?"
He thought about that for awhile and then said: "she wants us to get back together, but I think that's just a feint before the killer blow. If you sleep with her, that'll give me the upper hand and I can get a divorce on the cheap."
"Do you think she'd fancy me?" I said.
"You're a bloke aren't you? Look, I'll make it worth your while..."
"How much?" I asked.
He thought for a bit.
"I can get you a new telly," he said.

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