Kidneys

Roger was unhappy about his stash.
"I trusted you, you spaz jizzum. Now what are you going to do about it?" he demanded.
"Say sorry?" I said. I thought that was what he meant.
"No," he said, "what are you going to do to get back my stash you fucking dick-fungus harvester?"
"I don't know," I said.
"Well you'd better think of something because if you don't have it replaced by the time I get back, I'll make you shit out your kidneys."
I didn't know anyone I could buy drugs from so I rang Directory Enquiries.
"Which name please?" said a lady.
"Hello. I wonder if you can help me. I'm looking for somebody I can buy illegal drugs from."
"Which name please?" she said again, "I need a name in order to do a search."
"Oh," I said, "how about searching under 'drugs'?"
The lady sighed, "I can't search on that."
"Oh, then how about 'magic brainfuck dust'. That's what Roger always calls it."
The phone went dead.

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