I laughed my arse off... literally

I took my car to the garage.
It wouldn't work properly after the kids had finished joyriding in it and after I gave it a clean, it didn't work at all.
The mechanic lifted up the bonnet and said: "What the fuck is this?"
"An engine," I said. I wasn't impressed, after all- he should know this.
"No, I mean, some fucker's ripped out all the leads."
"Oh I did that," I explained, "I was giving it a good clean after the some boys had been playing with it. It looked a bit messy in there... with all those leads..."
He looked at me as if I was something not normal and then called some of his friends over.
Pretty soon they were all laughing at me.
And then soon after that, they were calling people in off the street who started laughing at me as well.
The next day, I was on the front pages of the Sun, the Daily Star and the Daily Mail.
The last one ran an editorial about how educational standards are breaking down and that I was proof of this.