Life of Bob

I remember the day Susan, my now ex-wife, told me she loved me.
I was so happy I could have danced. I could have shouted it from the mountaintops. I could have run up to total strangers to tell them breathlessly the good news.
We had been on a picnic together. It was a beautiful day.
"I love you," I'd said, "do you love me too?"
She stared at me and said: "You're alright."
"Yes, but do you love me?" I pushed.
"You're clean," she said, "and you make me laugh sometimes. Like the time you fell down those stairs..."
"Yes," I pressed, "but do you love me- as I love you?"
She shrugged and said: "Yeah, whatever..."
It was the happiest day of my life.