There's one! Burn hiiiiiiiimmm!!!

Mr Bonobo was still unwell.
And Jeffries was back.
I was trying to fill in for his class again but it was very difficult because nobody was really listening to anything I was saying.
I did a bit of talking about various topics and then, to get the attention of the class, I said: "any questions?"
Jeffries put his hand up.
"Yeah sir," he said, "What's a paedophile?"
"Has anybody got any work-related questions?" I asked.
"Yeah," Jeffries said, "What is a pae-do-phile?"
I thought I'd better answer him to shut him up.
"It's a person who's sexually attracted to children," I answered.
"Oh right," Jeffries said, then frowned, "but I fancy Samantha... does that mean I'm a paedophile?"
"No it doesn't," I said.
"Why not? She's only thirteen, I'm attracted to her... I must be one. Should I get some sort of treatment?"
"You're not a paedophile," I said, "Now can we-?"
"Do you fancy Samantha?" Jeffries asked.
"Fuck off," said Samantha.
"Look, this is all very-" I tried to say.
"Answer the question," Jeffries said, " do you fancy Samantha? Yes or no."
"No," I said.
"Are you saying she's ugly, sir? Are you saying Samantha's a minger? You are, aren't you? You're saying she's a minger."
"Fuck off!" Samantha glared at him, and then at me.
"No, I'm not saying she's ugly," I said, "she's very nice."
I smiled at her in an attempt to make her feel better.
Jeffries nodded, "Yeah thought so- paedo."
"No I'm not," I said.
"Yes you are," Jeffries said.
Pretty soon the whole class was chanting paedo at me, even Samantha.
"I'M NOT A PAEDOPHILE! I'M NOT A FUCKING PAEDOPHILE!" I shouted.
I shouted so loudly, in fact, that my voice carried across the whole school.
Shortly after that I was summoned to the headmaster's office.