Anyone fancy a pint?

The school phoned me up about the reference that Roger had given me.
The lady read it out to me.
"Yeah," it said, "Bob's worked for me. But I can't really say he's been any good. He absolutely refuses to do anal stuff and I'm still waiting for the miserable cock-end to replace my stash (fucking grade A shit that was - though how he can shove that much up his arse without going into geostationary orbit is beyond me). Anyways, he's an absolutely dismal bollock and if he tells you otherwise, he's a fucking lying bag of arse. Yours sincerely, Roger."
There was a pause. I think she was waiting for me to say something, but I couldn't think of anything.
"We were thinking that perhaps this was sent by mistake..." she said, "and that perhaps you ought to know."
"Oh no," I said, "it's no mistake. That's the kind of thing he would say."
She sighed and said: "Well, we may as well give you the job. It's not as if anyone else is going to apply and our back's covered on the legal side. You can start on Monday if you want."
I was delighted and thanked her very much.
"Word of advice," she said, "best not to be too polite - they'll only see it as weakness."