I done a poo I have | Time Machine

I've always considered myself to be a man of the world. My approach to life has always been one of healthy scepticism, but I suppose we can all be taken in by someone from time to time.
I remember this one occasion when I met a man in the pub who told me he had a time machine for sale. Naturally I scoffed at the idea, but after talking to him for an hour or so, it became apparent that he was absolutely serious.
I accompanied him back to his house, determined to see this marvel for myself and find out whether it was the genuine article.
In his living room was a large plywood box painted black.
"Is that it?" I asked.
"I understand your scepticism," he said, "and so let me give you a demonstration. While you watch, I shall transport myself exactly five minutes into the future."
He opened a door on the front of the box, climbed inside and then closed it behind him. Then, true enough, exactly five minutes later he came out again.
I was astounded. I couldn't help but think of all the possibilities, all the people I could meet from history - King Henry VIII, Lord Palmerston, The Crankies- I could even go back to my former life, before it went all rubbish.
"Can I have a go?" I asked.
"Well, there's only room for one at a time- and if I let you go on your own, you might go back in time, kill my grandparents and then nick my time machine."
He had a point.
"How much do you want for it?" I asked.
"A thousand pounds," he beamed.
Needless to say, when I got it home it didn't work and I never saw the man again.
When I told Roger, he just shook his head and looked at me.
I expect, like me, he was shocked at how devious some people can be.